I am Ashley Ghose, I am the lead assistant for the Midland Area Wellbeing Coalition and a Life Coach who helps women transform stress into strength. I'm excited to share my Life Hack # 44 Be Curious, Not Judgmental.
I've always been curious. My parents would tell you I'm always asking questions. In the past few years, I've learned to keep that curiosity, especially in difficult conversations or interactions. As a physical therapist, I sometimes had frustrated patients who weren't making progress. I started using curiosity to understand why they were upset. It wasn't always about me; often, they were dealing with things they couldn't control.
Before adopting this approach, I'd feel judged and then judge them in return, which didn't help anyone. Staying curious taught me to see others' perspectives and move forward. For example, I had a patient upset because of something her child did right before therapy. It wasn't about me or the therapy. This curiosity helped me avoid negative emotions and show compassion, even if I was taking the brunt of someone's bad day.
Being curious has always been part of my analytical nature. I asked "why" about everything, applying it to school, work, and my patients. But it wasn't until five or seven years ago that I realized this curiosity could extend to relationships. Now, I use it to spread wellbeing, bringing a smile or some shine to someone's day, even if they're annoyed.
This life hack supports my wellbeing by preventing quick judgment of others or myself in difficult situations. It helps me avoid negative thinking and fosters positive interactions, even with strangers like cashiers.
When trying on this Life Hack, it is important to know that we humans are wired to judge first. So, I remember to show myself some compassion with my judgment and then shift to curiosity. For me, the process involves awareness, recognizing where I judge, and replacing that judgment with curiosity. This awareness helps me maintain healthier relationships with close friends and family.
